NORTH POLE HOLI DAYS
please send your ideas for additional holidays to: greathoarymarmot@allwaysnorth.com
JANUARY
3
Day of Theoretical Polymathical Punditioous Dialecticianality
(Philosopher King's Day)
15
Yo! We're down with that day!
(Martin Luther King Jr. Day)
18
Official Paradoxical Drivel Day
(GTOOTA Day, celebrated with fresh apricots in gerbil-driven inflatable flying teapots)
 
FEBRUARY
2
Hoary Marmot Day
(Formerly known as Groundhog's Day, however, now a celebration of the Hoary Marmot which has nothing whatsoever to do with how long winter will last)
14
i'm just going to be a monk day
(We hold these truths to be self-evident)
19
Everybody Day
(Reflects the universality of Head-of-Stateness)
 
MARCH
15

Bee Waire Day
(for the uninititated- go read Shakespeare)

18
Random Acts of Kindness Day
(Of course, random acts of kindness should be perpetuated throughout the year, March 18 is merely set aside for the heightened appreciation of such acts, and, of course, another excuse to snack)
26
Breaking Ice Pack Day
(First day of Spring)
 
APRIL
1

All Fool's Day
(Essentially a celebration of essences)

8

Forget Your Woes on Tippy Toes Day
(Hey, it rhymes!)

22

Sentient Rock Day
(Formerly Earth Day, renamed to reference the Official NP Manifesto)

 
MAY
 
1
Everyone Assume the Crash Position Day
(May Day- foreshadows Quit Your Day Job Day)
13
Truancy Day
(Yay Truancy!)
31
Alice Cooper Rock 'n Roll Day
(First Day of Summer)
 
JUNE
 
3
Audacious Day
(Intrepid Explorer Day, a most auspicious day for deeds of derring-do)
16
Blanket Tent Day
(Wish we had a VCR day)
21
Naked Swimming in the Ocean Day
(Summer Solstice)
 
JULY
4
Birth Day
(Anniversary of the first founding -to our knowledge- of the mobile nation of the North Pole. Also the first day of the year)
18
Halfica
(Originally the half-way point for GTOOTA's massive piece-a-day project, now taken to be a celebration of the crossing of the midpoint of all the creative of the projects of)
31
Quit Your Day Job Day
(Do it now, man -oops, throwback! The corrected text should read: "Do it now, plants, animals, sentient rocks, visitors from outer space, humans of any-or no-sex, etc."!)
 
AUGUST
1
Nonvicarious Escapade Day
(Traditionally a most auspicious day for beginning journeys)
9
Arctic Char Day
(Another excuse to snack. AND we think the Artic Char is really neat)
11
Black Thumb Day
(Set aside for the mourning of all deceased plants, especially those who have fallen victim to thirst)
22
Wet Sock Day
(An auspicious day for returning from NP annexation activities)
29
Lemming Poetry Day
(This can be interpreted as festivities honoring poetry by Lemmings, or poetry about Lemmings, your choice)
 
SEPTEMBER
2
Wash Your Sheets Day (Sex Day)
(If someone hasn't told you about this yet, don't look at us)
17
Torch the Flag Day
(Was once, in a previous incarnation, "Citizenship Day," is now perceived as a celebration of the right to rescind any and all allegiances, including those to the North Pole)
21
Leaf Pile Fest
(First Day of Fall)
23
Snack Day
(Duh)
 
OCTOBER
3
End of Era Day
(A good day for cleaning your room)
10
National Day of Gluttony
(It's more than just a snack)
27
Arbitrary Zero Point Day
(A celebration of the many underappreciated arbitrary weights and measures)
31
Halloween
(It already was highly North Polian, but is now also known as Pie in the Face Day)
 
NOVEMBER
5
Stick in the Mud Day
(Formerly called "election day," now a celebration of the universality of complainamentary endeavors)
11
Rookie Day
(Official color of the day- verdent!)
18
Go Visit the Composer Month Begins
(Originally marking the beginning of a month-long period of snacking at Villa Montalvo, now generally taken as an excuse to snack for a month, regardless of location)
28
Poker Day
(Occasion for the senseless redistribution of money amongst friends)
 
DECEMBER
20
Go Visit the Composer Month Ends
(see November 18- although it's ok to continue snacking anyhow)
21
Naked Snowball Fight Day
(Winter Solstice)
23
Flossing Day
(Waxed or Unwaxed? Mint or Cinnamon?)
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